Who will pay for the mediation? It’s a question I get asked a lot, especially by people who have been invited to attend mediation by their co-parent, or ex-partner.
The starting position – equal shares
In most instances each person pays half the fees. But there can be exceptions to this.
If you’re participating in mediation because a Court ordered you to do so then the Court orders will probably include a provision about who has to pay the mediator’s fees. Most times the Orders require each person to pay half, but sometimes the Orders assign responsibility for payment to one person.
Sometimes one person agrees to pay all the fees, or greater than half. They might offer to do this of their own volition, or they might agree to a request made by the other person.
Some mediation services vary their costs, depending on income. If this is the case it might be that each person pays their share of the fees, but the shares are not equal.
What happens if you can’t afford the mediator the other person has chosen?
Like in any service industry, some mediators are more expensive than others. If you and the other person have different capacities to pay, you might get an invitation to attend mediation with a service that is too expensive for you. If this is the case, you have a few options.
You could ask the other person to pay your share of the fees, or at least a portion of your share of the fees. They won’t have to agree to this, but they might be willing to do so in order to work with the mediator they have chosen.
You could decline the invitation and invite the other person to attend mediation with a more affordable mediator. You could also just decline the invitation. Be careful though about declining an invitation as there can be adverse consequences if you decline an invitation to mediate, particularly in relation to parenting issues. If you’re thinking about declining an invitation it is a good idea to get some legal advice before deciding. There are places you can get free legal advice about this. They vary from location to location, but a good place to start would be Legal Aid or the Law Society in your state or territory.
Is it a good idea to pay the other person’s share?
What if you initiated the mediation and the other person has asked you to pay their share of the fees – should you agree? There are a few factors to consider here.
What, do you think, is the reason they are asking? If you think they would struggle to afford the mediator you have chosen, then it might be a good idea to agree to help them cover the cost.
Will paying (or not paying) impact on their attitude to the mediation? Some people need to have ‘skin in the game’ to be fully invested in a process. If the other person is like that then you probably won’t get a resolution of your dispute if you’re covering all the cost. But if you think they will show up and do their best to reach agreement, regardless of who pays, then you should probably lean towards agreeing to cover their share of the costs.
Is there some particular benefit to the mediator you have chosen that means you would really like to lock them in? Are they are able to provide a service more quickly? Do they have a professional background that is particularly well suited to your dispute? Have they been recommended by people you know and trust? If it is important to you to have this mediator, then you might want to agree to take on more of the cost in order to get the right mediator.
And, of course, there is the obvious question of whether you can afford the additional cost.
